The relationship between a manager and their employees is a cornerstone of an organization’s culture. 1-on-1 meetings are the means through which these relationships are built.
Research shows that employees who have regular meetings with their managers are three times more likely to feel engaged in their work. Despite this, most managers still don’t meet with individual employees regularly. As a result, good employees quit, customer experience declines, and the business suffers (source).
1-on-1 meetings solve these problems by offering a simple way to build trust, resolve issues, share feedback, and help the employee feel supported. Adobe credits 1-on-1 meetings for helping reduce voluntary turnover by 30%, and GE credits them for a fivefold productivity increase.
1-on-1 meetings have the potential to completely transform your organization. However, without a good framework and mindset, they could become the most dreaded and awkward meeting in your calendar. This article will help by showing you the real benefits of 1-on-1 meetings and how you can do them properly.
What is a 1-on-1 Meeting?
A 1-on-1 meeting is a dedicated and recurring appointment for a personal conversation between a manager and an employee. Unlike business meetings (project updates, planning sessions, etc), a 1-on-1 meeting is about supporting and developing an employee. Meeting topics are flexible and diverse, and often include coaching, mentorship, conflict resolution, clarifying expectations and even personal matters.
I endorse a 30-minute meeting, scheduled to take place at the same time and location each week. The first 15 minutes is for the employee’s agenda, and the last 15 minutes is for the manager’s agenda. If a conversation goes longer than anticipated, or some emergency forces you to cut the meeting short, you’ll be able to steal time from the manager, not the employee. This meeting is about building trust and supporting the employee, so they need to be the priority.
The first few times you meet, your employee might not have a lot to say. Assuming this is new to both of you, they probably won’t know how open they should really be. Don’t take it personally. They’ll open up after you’ve consistently shown good intentions and an honest desire to get to know them.
The Benefits of 1-on-1 Meetings
It’s widely agreed that good 1-on-1 meetings boost employee engagement, retention and performance. But how is it possible that such a simple discussion can be so powerful?
They Create Alignment
For the manager, a benefit of a 1-on-1 meeting is hearing what the employee’s been working on, and what they’ll be working on for the coming week. This allows the manager to give feedback and make sure the employee’s actions align with the larger goals of the organization.
For an employee, they get the benefit of clear expectations, which makes it easier for them to know whether they are doing a good job or not. This sounds like a no brainer, but 9/10 managers avoid giving negative feedback for fear of their employees reacting poorly, and as a result, fewer than 50% of employees know whether they are doing a good job or not (source).
Think of the lost productivity when an employee repeats mistakes because you haven’t given them feedback. Or worse, when they spend inordinate amounts time on a simple assignment because they’re afraid of making a mistake. 1 on 1 meetings can clear this up.
They Build Trust
Some managers favor a complete separation of work and home life. They prefer interpersonal barriers, and for everyone to keep their personal lives to themselves. Those managers struggle to build loyalty and often lose their best employees.
The foundation of a high-performing team is trust, and people don’t trust people they don’t know. This is true amongst colleagues, and it’s true between an employee and their manager.
1-on-1 meetings allow the manager and employee to get to know one another and build a bond. This will evolve into a mutual respect and understanding that’ll pay dividends. For instance, an employee is more likely to makes sacrifices (e.g. work on their day off, or stay late to finish a project) when they feel like part of a team. They care about people more than the company, and you need to give them a reason to care about you.
When you have a strong connection with an employee, you can identify any upcoming changes in their lives and respond proactively. For instance, an employee who trust you might tell you if they’re thinking of going back to school, moving out of town or looking for a new job. This gives you time to plan for their departure and support them along the way. Anecdotally, when I’m about to change jobs, I’ll push my new employer to give me a month to help my manager with the transition. However, if we haven’t built a bond, I’d probably just give two weeks’ notice and go.
They Boost Job Satisfaction and Employee Engagement
Today’s employees are educated and they have options, including self-employment and gig-work. As a result, stable employment and a competitive salary aren’t enough to satisfy an employee, and nor should they be. Today’s managers need to build rewarding and stimulating work environments.
1-on-1 meetings allow managers to discover an employee’s personal and career goals, and find ways to link them to their current job. For example, you might find that Jane wants a promotion, but needs project management experience. You can support Jane by giving her time to work on a project that supports her goals while solving a problem for the organization.
1-on-1 meetings also provide an opportunity to show employees how their work supports the broader mission of the organization. Employees who understand how they contribute to a bigger cause are generally happier and more satisfied with their work. You’ve probably heard of the janitor who, when asked what he did at NASA by President John F. Kennedy, proudly exclaimed that he was “helping put a man on the moon”. As a manager, you want your employees, no matter what their job is, to feel connected with the mission. 1 on 1 meetings are how you create that connection (source).
They Help Retain Good Employees
When an employee feels valued, supported, and connected to their work, they’re more likely to stay with you. This is valuable for any organization, because it builds team cohesiveness, strengthens the culture, boosts morale, and avoids the costs of hiring and onboarding new employees.
You’ll never avoid turnover from retirements and promotions, but that’s fine, you should celebrate when that happens! What you don’t want are employees leaving for similar positions because they don’t want to work for you anymore. 1-on-1 meetings allow a manager to uncover and resolve feelings of dissatisfaction long before it gets to that point.
How to Run Effective 1-on-1 Meetings
When done right, 1-on-1 meetings help managers transform the culture of their organization. When done poorly, they waste time and compound your trust issues. Here are the steps you can take to reap the benefits of the former and avoid the latter:
1. Schedule Them In, Prioritize Them, and Never Cancel
For the manager, this is your time to build trust, offer support, and demonstrate your investment in the employee. For your employees, this might be their only real chance to discuss their job and share their thoughts with you.
Schedule your 1-on-1 meetings on a recurring basis, ideally each week, and do your best to stick to the schedule. Occasional crises will pull you away from your regular schedule, and that’s fine. In these cases, don’t cancel, just reschedule for another time that week.
If you need to reschedule, don’t send a meeting change in Outlook without context. Go talk to the employee and let them know what’s going on. This shows respect, and that you aren’t simply de-prioritizing them. And on that note, don’t simply deprioritize them. Something rarely comes up that’s more important than an employee. If you find that you’re rescheduling 1-on-1 meetings every week, it’s a ‘you’ problem — likely around prioritization, communication or boundaries. Solve it.
2. Make Them Personal
Your employees are unique individuals, and to connect with them, you need to be flexible. Different employees will want to talk about different things; you’ll hear about work, personal lives, goals, sports, all kinds of stuff. Appreciate it all, because every piece of information given to you is a show of trust. Listen attentively, ask questions, make notes when appropriate, and NEVER betray that trust. What happens in the 1-on-1 meeting stays in the 1-on-1 meeting (unless it’s a Code of Conduct violation of course).
3. Choose a Comfortable and Quiet Space
There’s a connection between the meeting space and the quality of conversation you have. If you meet in your office, that’s your space, it’s a powerplay, and it’s intimidating no matter how nicely it’s decorated. You’re better off meeting in a public meeting room, a coffee shop or going for a walk.
Your office is fine for a business meeting, but for a 1-on-1 meeting, let the employee pick the space. Encourage them to choose something they like, not something they think will appease you. The only considerations you should enforce are that you’re out of earshot from other employees and that you have some level of privacy from other passersby.
4. Remove Distractions
This is a sacred time between you and your employee. That means you need to discourage interruptions from other staff, put your phone and laptop away, and listen. How you handle distractions can make or break your 1-on-1 meetings.
I had a manager who often paused our 1 on 1 meetings to answer IMs and texts. This showed me that I wasn’t a priority in my own 1-on-1 meeting. And worse, they didn’t even respect my time enough to dismiss me so I could get back to my work. As a result, I always shared as little as possible so we could wrap up and go.
On the other hand, I’ve had managers who offered great support, advice, and feedback, and I truly looked forward to our 1-on-1 meetings. Those 1-on-1 meetings made it possible for me to build my skills and grow my career. As a result, I worked harder than ever, I felt loyalty towards the organization, and I’d happily work for them again.
Be the latter, not the former.
5. Shut-Up and Listen
1-on-1 meetings are your exclusive time to support your employee’s needs, growth, and career. It’s also your time to help them with any trouble they’re having, and leave them feeling assured that they’re on the right track. To do this, you need to hear from them. Sometimes they’ll share openly, and sometimes they’ll need prompts. Be prepared to ask questions like “How do you feel about..”, “tell me more about..” and “what can I do to help with..”
It’s natural to want to interject and share your wisdom constantly. A good rule of thumb is to listen twice as much as you talk. If you need help with your listening skills, read Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’.
6. Create Accountability
In your part of the meeting, have your employee set commitments they can do between now and the next 1-on-1 meeting. You’ll want commitments that support their development and ones related to their specific job. You’ll likely have made commitments to them as well, so capture them all in your notebook.
After the meeting, type up a summary of your discussion and send it to the employee. This ensures that neither of you forgets what commitments were made, and creates a sort of ‘paper trail’ to refer to along the way.
7. Solicit Feedback About Yourself
When it’s your time to talk, ask what can do better to support, manage, and communicate with them. Emphasize that you’re looking for specific actionable feedback, not complaints. If it’s not something you can control, it’s not helpful.
Expect your employees to hold back and be awkward about doing this early on. You need to build trust before they’ll feel comfortable criticizing their boss to their face, and that takes time, so don’t be pushy.
1-on-1 Meeting Topics
You’ve got a relatively short time, so don’t expect to get through a dozen topics. Instead, choose 3 or 4 ahead of time. Consider the state of your relationship and their history with the organization. For instance, don’t ask a new employee for feedback on your management skills, and don’t ask a soon-to-be-retired employee how you can help them develop their career.
I like to decide what I’ll be asking in advance, and then let the employee know at least a few hours ahead of time so they have time to prepare. For instance, I usually send an email like this:
“Hi Jane,
During my portion of our 1-on-1 meeting today, I’d like to review your goals and hear about your progress on project x (please send me your draft by 12 pm so I can take a look ahead of time).
I’ve got updates for you on those things you asked me about last week, and other than that, is there anything else I should prepare for?
Regards,
Chris.”
Over time, these meetings will feel natural and the conversation will flow. Early on, however, you’ll probably need to drive the conversation. The list below offers some good discussion prompts:
- What are your goals for the upcoming week? What can I do to help support your goals?
- In the past month, what have you been happy about? What have you been less happy about?
- What would you like to spend more/less time on? What are your ideas on how to make that work?
- What did you do over the last week that you’re most proud of? What would you do differently?
- What would you like to be better at?
- What roadblocks are in your way?
- What do you need more of from me? What could you use less of?
- Do you have any feedback on my communication style? How can I communicate better with you?
- If you were me, what would you do differently?
Introducing 1-on-1 Meetings
Employees are often suspicious about process changes, so you need to communicate your intentions and motives. For instance, if a 1 on 1 meeting suddenly shows up in their calendar, and you’ve never done this before, they’ll probably think they’re in trouble. You solve this through excessive clarity around the introduction. When I implement 1-on-1 meetings with a new team, I start by introducing them in a regular team meeting: I tell them what they are, why I’m doing them, what the format will be, emphasize my commitment to them, and clarify that everyone will be having them — no favoritism and no exceptions. After the meeting, I follow-up with an email like this:
“Hi team,
In today’s meeting, I introduced the concept of 1-on-1 meetings, which we’ll schedule to start next week. If you have any unanswered questions about them, please feel free to ask now, and we can talk about it ahead of time.
In the meantime, please let me know what day/time/location you prefer. The sky’s the limit, it can be an office, a walk, a coffee shop, anywhere really, so long as it’s within 5 minutes travel time by foot, I’m happy. You can always change your choices later-on if you find it isn’t working for you, so no need to worry about that. Please send the info to me by EOD, that way, I can get them scheduled into our calendars.
Thanks for being open to this new process, I can’t wait to get started!
Regards,
Chris.”
Final Thoughts
Despite all your efforts, some employees are still going to be weird about them for a while. Don’t be discouraged. People have individual personalities and experiences, so they’re going to interpret these meetings differently. All you can do is consistently demonstrate good intentions and trustworthy behavior, and they’ll come around.
From my experience as an employee, good 1 on 1 meetings have been the primary driver of my career growth; in jobs where I didn’t have good 1-on-1 meetings, they’ve been the primary reason I left. As a manager, 1-on-1 meetings have helped me solve retention and performance issues, develop employees into managers, and made work fun.
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts: What’s been your experience with 1 on 1’s? Any major successes? Any major flops?
